If you’ve been on here for a while, you’d be aware of my weight/body issues. A few months ago, I decided to stop with the pity parties I occasionally throw and actually go out and do something about it. I’ve been going to the gym at least thrice a week and “trying” to eat healthier. I am in no way an expert on the subject but hopefully, this post helps someone else or if not serves as a reminder to myself how I got this far. So how did I motivate myself to workout?
I reminded myself why I wanted to workout. Just like anything else, starting is the hardest part. Especially, if you’re someone like me who thinks of even the pettiest of reasons to not go through with things, just because. So how did I finally talked myself into working out for real? I reminded myself of how bad I felt when my friend called me fat. I let that desire to prove her wrong take over and it just made all my petty reasons just that petty. My desire for revenge helped me take the first steps to my goal. Every time I would think of that incident, I always find myself pushing myself to do better in the gym and sometimes it just the motivation I need to get my lazy ass to the gym. It’s not the best motivation but it was the most effective one for me.
I bought a bunch of workout clothes. I wanted to at least look like I belonged in a gym and nothing says, “I belong here” more than appropriate clothing. I didn’t want to spend too much so I opted for Old Navy over Nike. I would love to buy a cute Nike outfit and be Instagram ready but I don’t feel like I deserve it yet. Buying workout clothes became my reward whenever I manage to achieve the little goals I set for myself every month, It’s mostly losing x number if lbs or working out at least thrice a week, stuff like that. It all works out in the end cause every time I buy new clothes I get excited to use them that I end up looking forward to going to the gym and whenever I see my workout clothes just sitting in my cabinet, I feel guilty about buying them and not using them as often that I end up working out anyway. WIN WIN!
I got my friends involved. I used to have Maria here with me. She was the one who would randomly make plans with me to workout, she was my excuse to workout back then. I needed adult company so bad that even though most of the time I just lounge in the massage chair by the lobby, I still go with her to the gym. Now that she’s back in Washington, I just go to the gym by myself which is okay by me cause I end up actually working out but during those lazy days, I need someone to make me want to go to the gym. That’s why I’m glad my loser love and Anne decided to start working out as well. Since we’re in different countries, we work on a guilt tripping system which turns out to be very effective for me cause not only do I feel guilty easily I’m also competitive. Every time loser love posts a post workout selfie in our group chat, I get the urge to workout as well. Especially, when I see so much progress in her body and I look at my body in the mirror and not see any result at all. Having friends who are going through all this the same time as me, lightens the load. I’m not as hard as I was to myself whenever I’m not happy with my body. Well, having friends in general, just makes life much more worth living.
I celebrate the little victories. I stopped weighing myself regularly cause it was just making me feel bad so instead I decided to just go with what my body. I still weigh myself to check on progress but only when I feel like it instead I rely on what I see in the mirror and how I feel about my body. For instance, the first month that I’ve been regularly working out, my clothes started feeling loose, I was running longer distance, I don’t get tired as easily during workouts, I notice my stomach shrinking a little but whenever I weigh myself, it would tell me that I didn’t lose weight but actually gained. It would always put me in a sour mood so I just stopped with the scale. It really didn’t matter whether or not I lost weigh cause I notice my body changing so it means that my workout is paying off somehow. I’m in such a great place when it comes with my relationship with my body these days. I’m able to wear clothes I feel good in again without worrying whether it draws attention to parts of my body I’m insecure about. I’m able to just look in the mirror and like who I see.
My biggest issue before was scheduling it all. Finding time to go to the gym isn’t a problem when the husband is on deployment cause I have no one to take in consideration (aside from Liam) but every time he comes back, it gets harder and harder to find time. One, cause he has the car most of the time. Two, cause I don’t like going to the gym with him. This time though, it seemed that the husband finally gets me. He drives me to the gym after he gets off work and no longer hangs around me when I workout. He lets me do my thing and actually offers to take Liam to the playground while I do so. He even bought me that hella expensive jogging stroller I’ve been eyeing so I can go on runs around the neighborhood with Liam when I don’t feel like going to the gym.
So that’s pretty much it. I have a lot of motivation to work out these days, but none of them matter if I didn’t choose that this time I’m actually gonna do something to change that one thing about myself I don’t like. I’m gonna stick to this working out thing. If I’m not gonna lose weight working out I’ll at least work out cause it makes me feel better about myself.