It’s been a week and a half-ish since the husband left on deployment and things haven’t gone to shreds yet. It’s been the opposite actually. I’ve been productive and occupied the past few days. I’ve been enjoying this time alone to focus on me. I love having the husband around but to be honest things were getting tense. My patience with him has gotten at an all time low.

I’m a mother all day and a wife at night and there seems to be no time to be someone for me. I’m left with the choice of either getting enough sleep so I won’t be cranky from lack of sleep in the morning when Liam wakes me up or staying up late and doing things I can never have time for in the day. More often than not I chose the latter, just so I can keep sane the next day. Coffee is an easy fix for sleep deprivation.

My irritation with the husband wasn’t entirely his fault, although he annoys me so much that it sometimes felt that he was doing it on purpose. He still does most of the house things and I only really have to look after Liam but I gotten frustrated with the fact that my days have been very dependent on both of them. Like if I would need the car the next day, I would have to wake up early and drop him off at work with Liam in the back seat and then try to put Liam back to sleep when we got back. Then on those days when he has the car for the day, I have to wait for him to get home before I can leave the house and go to places. I constantly have to put them before whatever it is I want which is expected cause I am a mother and a wife but sometimes I’d love to do something just for me. It doesn’t have to be a big spa day, just an hour or two to nap or play on my phone without being disturbed.

With the husband away, I get to spend that time I use being a wife for myself. I don’t have to deprive myself of too much sleep to get my coveted “me” time. Don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying I don’t miss the husband. I do. I still rather want him to be here with us. I’m just seriously making the most out of the situation. He’ll thank me for it when he comes back, happy wife, happy life. LOL.

I’m enjoying this freedom I have. I am starting to feel good about myself again. I’m not as stressed. I’m not so short tempered. I’m able to find time for me. When the husband comes back, things will be back to normal but I’m confident that now that I had time for myself it won’t be so tensed. I have communicated all of this to him already and he’s happy that I’m starting to become my old self again. He’s giving me the impression that he’ll be more giving for my “me” time.



One thought on “Selfish

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