It’s that time again. The husband will be leaving for another deployment soon.
As always, it still hasn’t sunk in yet. I know it’s just around the corner but it doesn’t feel like it. Does that make sense? Everyday feels like any other day. We go through our routines like nothing’s gonna be changing in the near future.
One thing is for sure though, I’m not as anxious about it as I was a year ago. This time, I’m confident that I’m going to be able to pull it all together that Liam and I will be okay while his away. We’re gonna as good as we were (even better) as how he left us.
Liam and I spend so much time together anyway that it won’t be much of a change. It’ll still be just us in the morning until nap time. The only difference will be the husband won’t be home when he wakes up from his nap which kinda makes me sad. He got so used to our routine that it’s hard to believe he won’t notice the absence of his dad. He already expects his dad to come home from work after his naps. He already knows how to ask for his dad which kinda bums me out. He’ll be breaking my heart everytime he asks me for dadi during the deployment. Hopefully, park dates and play times will be able to distract him enough not to miss his daddy too much. He’s only 16 months anyway, I’m sure it won’t be that hard distracting him.
Last time the husband left on deployment, Liam was just a couple of months old. That time I didn’t know what to expect. I was a young mom left alone with a baby for five months. I had to learn to do everything that needed to be done by myself. The hardest thing about last year was going grocery shopping alone. It wasn’t the shopping itself that was difficult, it was transporting the goods from the car to the house. We live in an apartment with one of those elevator parking so everytime we went grocery shopping I had to unload the goods by the building lobby, drive to the parking lot, lift the elevator parking, park the car, get the car seat with the baby in it from the back seat, lower the elevator parking, carry the car seat/baby to the building, get the goods to the elevator without leaving the baby alone, unload the goods and baby from the elevator, bring goods and baby inside the apartment from the elevator. It was such a process. I even bought those grocery bags with wheels on them to make it all easier but no matter how little I shop, it won’t ever all fit in. I always end up having to carry everything else anyway. Liam walks now so I won’t be carry a bulky car seat with me everywhere. Grocery shopping won’t be that complicated this time around.
Yes, I’m gonna miss the husband. He’s my only adult interaction nowadays and with him gone it be me talking to my 16 month old who just discovered the joys of the word no everyday. I’m gonna miss having him around to take Liam off my hands on days my patience is low. I’m gonna miss him constantly checking whether or not I managed to feed myself. I’m gonna miss having him ask if there’s something he can do to turn my day around. I’m just gonna miss him entirely. I had Maria to keep me company through out the previous deployments but ever since she gone back to Washington, I have been very friendless. It’s gonna be okay. I have mastered the art of being a loner and I can always get intouch with people online.
The greatest thing about this deployment though is that it might be last one in a while. It’ll be shore duty life for us soon and I can’t wait. The husband won’t be leaving six months at a time. We’ll be able to properly plan leaves and vacations. We’ll be able to just be a family all year round. Just a little bit more and will have normalcy or the closest thing to it.