Love, Niquefornever

No, Not Really

Ikaw kasi parang okay ngayon buhay (It’s seems your life is pretty good), my high school classmate said in a message a few weeks ago.  We were never really close, we didn’t have much in common and truth be told I really didn’t like her all that much but lately she’s been striking up random conversations with me on Twitter. It’s mostly about Liam and motherhood. I didn’t really think anything of it cause it was nice having someone to relate to all the mom things I’ve been dealing with and I liked being able to talk to someone from another part of my life.

Back to that conversation a few weeks ago, she sent me a messaged out of nowhere asking for a favor. Her son was sick and she needed money, she said she still had money but she didn’t want to spend it all and end up with nothing else to spend for other things. That’s when she thought of asking me if she could borrow money because it seems like my life is pretty good.

I really wanted to help her out cause I’m a mom too, if my kid was sick, I would want to do everything to help him get better but the thing is I don’t have my own money or money to spare. All the money I spend is from my husband’s. As much as my husband says it’s my money too it’s not.

I guess it’s easy to assume that my life is pretty good. I post all our trips on Facebook, I get tagged in pictures during parties we get invited to, I thank people whenever they give my kid something, I only post happy and positive statuses and tweets but the thing is, that’s not the whole story. I filter my posts on Facebook and Twitter, filter in the sense that I choose what I share. I had my Facebook since I was in college, I have teachers, professors, relatives, distant relatives, classmates, friends, family, my mom’s friends, my father’s ex-boss, my husband’s friends, my husband’s work friends and random people I met over the years listed on my friends on there. I don’t personally talk to 3/4 of the people there to post ultra personal and specific things about me or my life. I like to keep posts there as generic and non-dramtic as much as possible cause I don’t like people I barely know feeling like they know too much about my life.

It’s easy to assume my life is pretty good cause I don’t broadcast how much debt and loan my husband have and the struggle we have every month to pay our bills, I don’t go telling everyone who will listen that every pay check we only end up with enough to get is by until the next pay check, I don’t post that my dad had a mild stroke and only found out 2 weeks ago or that every time I have a bad day being a mom that I wish I was home with my family so they can help me out or that the husband and I have fights were I feel like will be the cause of the end of our marriage. I don’t make public a lot of things because it’s not everyone’s business to know. Those who are concerned already know anyway.

What I’m trying to get at is, everyone is fighting a battle and some chose to fight their battle in private so don’t assume, ask first.

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