I have talked myself into thinking that everything will be okay when the husband leaves for summer deployment. I convinced myself that I can handle being alone with Liam for three months especially now that I can drive myself around. I told myself repeatedly that the next three months would go by as fast as it did the last time. I even reassured the husband that Liam wouldn’t even notice that he was gone that long and that he wouldn’t miss out on so much.
I was mentally prepared for all of it but then the navy decided that instead of the usual three month deployment this time it would be five. I panicked when I the husband told me but I didn’t let it show cause I don’t want him to worry. Five months is nothing like three months, by the time the husband comes home Liam would be (hopefully) walking by then and a couple of months away from turning one. I was prepared for three months but five, I’m just not sure. I don’t know if I would be able to keep my sanity for that long.
The reality of it all though is that, I have no choice but to be okay. I need to be okay for the husband not to worry while he is away and for Liam cause I’m all he got for the next five months. I can’t complain cause this is the life I chose to be a part of and the navy has provided for this family from day one.
I’m letting myself be sad before I start being strong again for this family.